Columbus, Ohio's Zombieland Rules of Survival
1. Cardio - Zombies have a very active lifestyle. So should you.
2. Beware of Bathrooms - When you're at your most vulnerable, somehow, they can just smell it.
3. Seatbelts - It's gonna be a bumpy ride.
4. Double Tap - When you're not absolutely certain, don't skimp on the bullets.
5. Reload - Simple common sense, but often forgotten in the heat of battle.
6. Cast Iron Skillet - Zombie takes a hit from one of these, it ain't getting back up.
7. Travel Light - It's easier to run without a bunch of stuff weighing you down.
8. Get a Kick-Ass Partner -
9. Double-Knot Your Shoelaces - When you're running for your life, loose laces could mean losing it.
10. Don't Get Attached - When your loved ones are trying to eat you, it's time to be selfish.
11. Always Carry a Change of Underwear - Running from undead cannibals can quite literally scare you shitless.
12. Bounty - Lots of disgusting fluids in Zombieland.
13. Trust Your Instincts - When you're the prey, it's good to be paranoid.
14. Limber Up - Don't want to pull a muscle in the middle of a massacre.
15. Use a Bowling Ball - Nothing says massive head trauma like a bowling ball (Preferably 16 lbs, don't use the little pink one).
16. It's a Marathon, Not a Sprint. Unless it is a Sprint - Endurance over speed unless you really need it, cause zombies don't care if your winded.
17. Don't Be a Hero - Self-preservation is key, and nobody is going to be impressed by how you got yourself killed.
18. Ziplock - A good idea, and great for keeping things organized in a crisis.
19. Pack Your Stain Stick - There's lots of disgusting things out there in Zombieland.
20. Shoot First, Ask Questions Later - When the slightest movement could mean your life, it's better to safe than sorry.
21. Always Carry a Melee Weapon - As useful as a shotgun is, it still needs to be reloaded, and that takes time. Better to have a back up bat or other swingable object on hand for those close corners.
22. Avoid Strip Clubs - Just do it. Please.
23. When in Doubt, Know Your Way Out - In an uncertain world, it's always a good idea to have a back up escape plan.
24. Be Quiet - Zombies are attracted to sound, so unless you want to offer yourself up as a free buffet, better zip it.
25. Blend In - When was the last time you saw a zombie eat another zombie?
26. Go for High Ground - When was the last time you saw a zombie climb a wall?
27. Find Good Shelter - This means have a sturdy reliable place where you can rest, but that doesn't mean it has to be stationary. A big all-terrain vehicle with room for a good half-dozen has the benefit of not having to scramble if you need to leave.
28. Be Ruthless - Just cause she's your bride doesn't mean she won't eat your brains the first chance she gets.
29. Buddy System - Have someone to watch your back.
30. No Drinking - Pretty obvious, but it has to be said. No need to be stumbling around when undead cannibals are on your tail.
31. Check the Backseat - Otherwise known as "Beware Your Unlocked Car".
32. Enjoy the Little Things - Just what it says.
33. Swiss Army Knife - Use that knife for a reason.
34. God Bless Rednecks - Loud, brash, well-armed and ready to kick ass. Even dead they're useful with all the guns they've got.
35. Don't Swing Low - Zombies aren't disabled easily, so go for the kill shot first thing. And make sure to Double Tap afterwards, just to make sure.
36. Maintain Good Hygiene - When infection can cause zombification, it's always a good idea to keep it as clean as possible. Hand-sanitizer is a must.
37. Don't Trust Doors - Zombies have hands and opposable thumbs. A hastily slammed door won't do much.
38. Never Use the Same Melee Weapon Twice - See Rule #36. Plus, there's no limit to the objects you can find to kick ass and take names.
39. Use Your Peripherals - A slight motion out of the corner of your eye could be your only warning of a zombie attack.
40. Improvise - When you're caught off guard or out of ammo, the strangest things can prove useful to keeping you alive and uninfected.
41. Shoot the Little Ones - Zombies don't care about age, neither should you.
42. Non-Perishables - Fresh food expires. Canned and packaged food might not be all too healthy, but it'll keep you alive.
43. Take Advantage of Your Surroundings - Your environment can help you out just as much as your weapons and quick feet.
44. Save the Last Bullet - If you're in a no win situation and about to die, it's better to shoot yourself than to get eaten alive.
45. Shoot the Fast Ones First - Zombies don't need to be strong to bite you.
46. Explosives - Extremely helpful in a horde situation, but use sparingly to preserve ammunition.
47. Avoid Fire - Zombies don't care if they're going up in flames. Also counts for water, cause zombies can swim too.
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This list was compiled from various TV Spots, trailers, and the occasional blog. Some of these may or may not actually be canon to the film.
